The only German I know is this following children’s song that I had to memorize in elementary school for chorus:
Tod ist ein langer Schlaf.
Schlaf ist ein kurzer Tod,
der lindert dir, und jener
tilgt des Lebens Not!
Tod ist ein langer Schlaf.
I just recently found the English translation:
Death is a long sleep.
Sleep is a short death,
That gives one respite
By ending life’s hardships
Death is a long sleep.
Germany seems awesome.
To be fair these photos aren’t exactly “new”. They were shot awhile ago back in 2015 but I never posted any on my blog and only posted one or two publicly so far. It’s taken me awhile to figure out exactly what I wanted to say about this series since it is very personal. So I’ll just start with how I got the idea to shoot these images…
I have chronic back pain from 2 failed spinal surgeries that can make it hard to me to do simple things at times like drive or even just stand. I only had a large hard plastic back brace I got in the hospital after my surgery and from time to time would have to wear it to help me stand for ten mins or more. At times it could get uncomfortable so I ordered a smaller elastic brace to wear when I needed support but not anything too extreme like my plastic brace. When putting it on over my dress to go out one day I decided I actually like the way it looked. I almost looked like a fashion accessory instead of a medical device.
I’m technically disabled since my day to day life is significantly impacted by the chronic pain in my back and the nerve pain in my foot. Sitting, standing, walking, bending & lifting even light things can all cause me a lot of pain. I had to give up working full time over a year ago. It was really hard because I loved my job but I got to the point where it was causing me so much pain I would end up crying every day which I hid from my coworkers by going into the bathroom and laying on the floor just to get some slight relief from the pain.
I’m considered “invisibly disabled” since you wouldn’t guess I had any major health issue just by looking at me. 95% of Americans with chronic illness have an invisible illness. I’ve had some pretty rude reactions from people in the past when I mentioned I was disabled (not that I go around telling everyone that, I only mention it if it’s relative). Because of my age and the fact that I don’t always have to wear my brace some people just don’t believe me, even doctors have been rude to me thinking I am complaining about pain just to get drugs until they actually look at my MRI’s and see that I have 7 screws, 2 rods & a metal plate holding my spine together.
I’m not posting this to get people to feel bad for me. Overall I really enjoy my life. Despite having to give up some things I used to enjoy I consider myself very lucky to have such supportive family and friends to help me when I need it. My pain has caused me to be a more patient person. You have no idea what someone’s life is like just by looking at them. Disabilities can affect people of any age, race, gender or socioeconomic class. I hope that by sharing my story people will be more aware of the fact that there are many people out there with invisible disabilities and will think twice about being rude to someone when they say they have some type of limitation. If a young person says they really need to sit down on the bus because standing is hard for them consider the fact that they may be telling the truth and aren’t just lazy (I used to get that a lot when I was still commuting).
And I hope you guys have enjoyed these photos, personally I really love them because they do have a lot of meaning to me, I feel like they show me as who I really am since 90% of the time that I am out of my home I am wearing one of my braces. And if you’re curious the purple thigh high stockings I am wearing are compression stockings. The pressure helps reduce the nerve pain in my foot and they help with circulation which is important when you can’t be very physically active.
This fall has been pretty amazing. For one thing it was insanely warm until just recently which was a nice surprise. Plus I have been getting a lot of fun custom videos and doing sessions. It’s kept me pretty busy but I love being busy so that is a good thing for me.
First I want to share a short preview video of Sarah Michelle getting me messy in my nice leather clothes with slime & pies. Sarah and I are both renting at the same studio again so you will likely see a lot of videos featuring the two of us.
I also recently received a giant 8ft balloon for a custom video. It was challenging to work with at first but ended up being a lot of fun.
And I recently started offering sessions. I do messy session, domination and foot worship. So far I have had a lot of fun, especially with the messy sessions even though those end up being a lot more work due to the clean up. I am going to try to update my femdom store more often, I haven’t been shooting for that as much as I would like due to scheduling sessions with people. But I did recently put up a hot strip tease findom video where I seduce you into handing over your money to me
For more of my femdom work make sure to check out at Cruel Desires.